Let me be clear, as much as I want to just respond CRY MORE, BABIES I object to the use of the word ‘doxxing’ in this case.
I have BEEN doxxed. I have been stalked online. I have had people go through my journals and my pictures to try to identify me for malicious purposes. I have had people search me on court websites to try to find the charges I filed against an ex when he stole from me, for the purposes of trying to humiliate me about an online roleplaying game. (No, really.) I’ve had people try to match up pictures of the flowers outside my synagogue and the building in the background with pictures of synagogues in the Philly area to try to fuck with my life.
So I know the kind of gut-clenching, cold down the back of your neck, hands-shaking fear that comes with being doxxed. I do. It’s happened to me more than once. It will probably happen to me again, because I’m a loud fat queer femme Jewish disabled activist, and boy does that piss people off.
But let me be clear: I was existing as a person that someone else didn’t like in those cases. I was existing as queer, I was existing as ‘someone I don’t like on a game.’ I was not showing up in public, carrying a torch, and advocating for the massacre of millions of people. When you show up in public carrying a torch, you are not being doxxed.
You are being IDENTIFIED.
i feel like this articulates the difference between doxxing, which is a violation of someone’s online privacy, and identification, which is holding citizens accountable for their public actions. i don’t think doxxing is ever ‘okay so long as you do it to bad guys’, no matter how bad you think those guys are. you have to hold on to your principles even when you’re really, really mad.
but i am all for assholes who show up in public waving torches and advocating genocide without even putting on a fucking mask having to face some fucking consequences when someone says ‘hey, that’s richard from accounting’.
Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse.
Stop:
Yelling at him in front of his friends
Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like
Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you
Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him
Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend
Forcing him to spend every moment with you
Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws
Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake
Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want
Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want
Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you
Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes
Telling him you are the must thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love
Physically attacking him when ever you are mad
Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to
Invading his privacy by going through his phone
Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tell you what it is
If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since its the other way around its considered normal. Throughout High school I saw many girl treating their boyfriends like shit. Sometime even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy.
Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.
Girls: if you find your self doing anything on this list to your boyfriend you need to knock it off because you are being abusive.
!!!!!!!!
My brother was abused by his babies mom and it started like this and escalated to child abuse and neglect.
You don’t deserve to be screamed at, ignored, or assaulted.
Not showing affection when she wants or not hugging her before class) or missing a phone call doesn’t warrant getting cussed out or hit.
Lol, I lost 5 followers from reblogging this. That’s fine, y'all can go
Whole lot of grown women do this too.
Just wanna throw these in too
Being passive aggressive with him when he wants to spend time with friends or doing other things
controlling when he’s able to go out with friends
Breaking up his friendships with other girls just because you’re insecure
Making him feel like his opinions in decisions that affect the both of you are irrelevant and don’t matter
testing him in anyway in general without his knowledge or permission (example: catfishing! it’s manipulative and weird don’t fucking do that)
taking money/credit cards without permission to spend on things without his knowledge ( had an ex friend do this constantly to her boyfriend and she’d always condone it because “he’ll get over it” )
guilting him for hanging out with friends/family over you and making him choose between you and friends/family
telling him “you don’t love me if you *insert harmless activity he wants to do here* “
being rude or mean to him in front of others to assert dominance or power over him
downloading apps to spy on his phone activity (yes, this is a thing “”regular”” people do) or snooping on his social media to see who he’s talking to
hitting him, slapping him, punching him, shoving him. literally how do people not understand slapping your male partner is bad. people tend to find this funny in media and society and its weird. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT PERMISSION.
I come from a family of very forward and manipulative women and i see it in media all the time. it’s fucked and people need to not be accepting of young girls acting like snot-nosed, abusive shit heads that think they can get away with manipulation and cruelty because they happen to be girls.
and let me add this. ABUSIVE TEEN GIRLFRIENDS TURN INTO ABUSIVE GROWN ASS WOMEN GIRLFRIENDS WHO TURN INTO ABUSIVE WIVES.
if you have an abusive teen or young adult gf right now fellas, leave. don’t let her use you to get her shit right. you’ll be so fucked up by the time she gets it together if she ever does and believe that most likely she won’t.
Can i just add that ive seen young queer girls do this to their girlfriends. Girls can be abusers and you are right to leave.
Women/young girls can definitely be just as abusive. I knew a young man that got ran over and had his leg broken by his girlfriend because (in her words he annoyed her) He refused to press charges.
Another young lady started to hit her ex boyfriend because he wouldn’t take her back because of the abuse. He called the cops on her and they literally started laughing at him because she was very petite in comparison to him. Anyone can be abusive and I wish more people understood that.
dammit I’d spam my blog if i reblog this more than once but dude this is really important.
Oh my god. This is so important.
Can we stop watering down the word “abusive” please, half of these are just being an asshole/being mean in general, thanks ^_^
Do you mind explaining which one you don’t consider abusive and why? I’m curious.
Yelling at him in front of his friends
Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake
since I mentioned 3 but wasn’t tagged I’ll say mine anyway
Yelling at him in front of his friends
Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes
the latter is called being a lonely asshole, and both of these can be abusive sometimes I think probably
context is everything
Being yelled at in front of your friends is humiliating and can seriously lower someones self esteem especially if it happens all the time.
And the blowing up the phone part is more about the person wanting to have control over their boyfriends life and know what they are doing at all times to make sure they aren’t doing something they don’t like.
Ok this blog is not about politics, but somehow it’s about my life. So here I am, living in Russia, the country with beautiful people: talented musicians, artists, dancers, amazing doctors, teachers and all the other professionals who know how to be a good person and how to do things right.
But the rest of the world judge us just by one politician. Radical, homophobic, aggressive. The world says - that’s their leader as a representation of the nation. So let me show you what our nation is.
Today, on March 26, we had meeting protests against the government throughout the country in 99 (!) cities and towns. People were clamoring against the system and corruption with slogans ‘Russia shall be free’, ‘Russia without Putin’, ‘The criminal has to go to the prison’. In Brazil or South Korea that would end for the government in a fair law court… But what we got as a feedback? When thousands of unarmed russians went to the street to shout out for justice, thousands of policeman and soldiers started to arrest them. There was no exception for women, children or oldman. I was there, in the heart of Moscow, protesting with others.
And here I want to say that it literally hurts me when I see in social networks like tumblr all the hatred adressed to Russia. When you are afraid of russians, when you think of us as rude homophobic savages who barely know what civilization and human rights is. Please, try to look deeper on what happens here. We are people. And we need your support.
As a bonus, photos from another date in St. Petersburg
